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Saint Patrick’s Day Jokes - 2017 Best Irish Funny Clean Stories | St Patrick's Day Joke

The dates of Patrick's life cannot be fixed with certainty but, on a widespread interpretation, he was active as a missionary in Ireland during the second half of the fifth century. He is generally credited with being the first bishop of Armagh, Primate of Ireland.
Given below are the some St. Patrick jokes as follows:







Paddy Irishman Jokes
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were reading a newspaper article about which nationalities’ brains were for sale for transplant purposes. An Irishman’s or a Scotsman’s brain could be bought for €500 but an Englishman’s brain cost €10,000. That proves,’ said The Englishman, ‘that Englishmen are much cleverer than Irishmen or Scotsmen.’
‘No it doesn’t,’ said The Irishman, ‘it just means that an Englishman’s brain has never been used.’


An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman were without tickets for the opening ceremonies of the summer Olympics but hoped to be able to talk their way in at the gate. Security was very tight, however, and each of their attempts was met with a stern refusal. While wandering around outside the stadium, the Englishman came upon construction site, which gave him an idea. Grabbing a length of scaffolding, he presented himself at the gate and said, “Johnson, the pole vault,” and was admitted. The Scotsman, overhearing this, went at once to search the site. When he came up with a sledge hammer, he presented himself at the gate and said, “McTavish, the hammer.” He was also admitted. The Irishman combed the site for an hour and was nearly ready to give up when he spotted his ticket in. Seizing a roll of barbed wire, he presented himself at the gate and announced, “O’Sullivan, fencing.”



A Scotsman, Englishman and an Irishman although already in the forces decided they’d join the S.A.S. Upon being called for an interview the recruiting sergeant explained that in order to be accepted into the special air services they must agree without hesitation to carry out any order whatever it may be, no questions just do it. All agreed no problem anything at all. Right say’s the serge to the Englishman here’s a gun go into the room next door and shoot the first person you see. Off he goes 2 mins later he’s back “serge I can’t do it, it’s my wife for Chris ‘sakes” No good to us get out. Next in goes 2 mins later back out puts gun on table” i cannot do it, it’s my wee hen i will not shoot my wife” Sarge say’s no good to us get out. Sarge gives the gun to the Irishman and sends him into the room the next thing “Bang Bang” followed by shouting and screaming, then silence .Next thing out comes the Irishman hair all tossed, face bleeding waving the gun madly about. “Some ##### idiot loaded that ##### gun with blanks, I had to break her ##### neck”


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